Why the Holidays Feel So Hard: Stress, Anxiety, and Family Pressures
Many people expect the holidays to feel joyful or restorative, but for a lot of us, this season brings up stress, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion. At Petal and Peak Mental Health, I regularly talk with clients who notice their mood dip or their anxiety rise this time of year. It is not a sign that something is wrong with you. It is a sign that the holidays tend to magnify the same pressures you navigate all year long.
Below are a few reasons this season can feel heavier, along with practical ways to support yourself in real time.
Why Mental Health Can Dip During the Holidays
One of the clearest reasons people struggle is being required to spend time with relatives who dismiss or criticize your identity, values, or boundaries. Many people find themselves pulled back into roles they have outgrown, such as caretaker, peacekeeper, problem solver, the responsible one, or the person who is minimized or teased. These patterns can activate anxiety or shutdown very quickly, even for highly skilled and self-aware people.
Grief also tends to come forward during the holidays. This is not limited to the loss of a loved one. It can show up after a breakup, a major transition, a first holiday in sobriety, or simply noticing that life looks different than it once did. Rituals and expectations have a way of highlighting what has changed and what still feels tender.
There are also the practical stressors. Financial pressure. Social expectations. Disrupted routines. Sensory overload. These factors add up, and they land in a nervous system that may already be carrying a lot.
How to Support Yourself Before and During Gatherings
A few intentional practices can make a noticeable difference.
Talk with trusted friends or supporters about what you are anticipating. Naming the situations or comments that tend to activate you often reduces anxiety and helps you plan.
Protect your basic routines as much as you can. Consistent meals, movement, sleep, and downtime are not small things. They are your foundation.
Prepare a few boundary scripts ahead of time so you are not relying on improvisation. For example:
"I am not available to discuss that today."
"I need a moment to step away."
"Thank you for the invitation. I am heading out now."
Thinking through these statements in advance makes them easier to use when tension rises.
When Additional Support May Help
Not every difficult moment during the holidays requires therapy. But it may be time to reach out if you are using substances to get through gatherings, noticing increasing hopelessness, experiencing intrusive thoughts, or still feeling overwhelmed after the season ends.
If you are navigating anxiety, stress, or complicated family dynamics and want support, the clinicians at Petal & Peak Mental Health are here to help you find steadier ground and a more sustainable way forward.
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